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Writer's pictureIvo Marques

Why can't we ask for what we need?

Getting what we need can be quite a challenge for various reasons. What's yours? Comment below


To look at your your difficulty to get what you need, book at ivomarquestherapy.com



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1: Fear


The daunting prospect of rejection often holds us back from expressing our needs. People fear that if they open up about needing time alone, a hug, or more affection, their vulnerability might be met with rejection. The fear of being turned down can be so overwhelming that it seems safer to keep our needs to ourselves



2: Survival

For some, early experiences with caregivers who consistently fell short of meeting their needs shape a belief that this is the norm. To protect ourselves from the pain of unmet needs, we start downplaying and discounting what we require. This adaptation becomes our reality, a way of ensuring we feel okay despite the absence of adequate care in our past. Look at ways to change this with ivomarquestherapy in Bristol.


3: Environmental Conditioning


The environment we grow up in can significantly impact our ability to ask for what we need. If, in the past, reaching out for support was met with threats or dismissive statements like "What's wrong with you?" or "Why do you want this?" it conditions us to believe that expressing our needs is unacceptable. This conditioning can extend to all areas of our lives, making it feel like we're not allowed to get what we need.

Understanding these factors can be a crucial step towards breaking down the barriers that hinder us from seeking what we truly require for our well-being. If you have any thoughts on this or want to discuss further, feel free to share!

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