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3 Reasons Couples fight

The dream relationship to misery - Relationships therapy

Why couples fight? Why do couples find themselves in the boxing ring of arguments? Well, it's a medley of emotions, expectations, and sometimes, just a good old clash of perspectives. From the classic communication breakdown to the age-old battle of chores.

1 - Couples fight because they cannot accept differences.

Couples often find themselves entangled in a symbiotic way of being, shaped by the challenges faced in childhood with their parental figures. Typically, these challenges arise with the parent they disagreed with the most. Such challenges can be so disruptive that they cause anxiety, hindering their ability to reconnect with the parental figure. 

2 - Couples polarize their experiences

According to Imago therapy, people assume that their perspective is the right one. When disagreements arise, it can feel as if the other person is discounting or invalidating their viewpoint. Embracing the idea that two truths can coexist becomes challenging, as if there must be only one absolute and concrete perception.

3 - Partners don't feel "safe" to share their thoughts or feelings.

There's often a fear of judgment, leading individuals to keep their thoughts and emotions to themselves. The fear of causing issues or hurting the other person discourages open communication, contributing to further fights and creating a sense of disconnection.

At ivomarquestherapy in Bristol, I aim to help both of you discover and nurture emotional safety, facilitating the rebuilding of your relationship. You will be encouraged to collaboratively shape a new dynamic that can pave the way for a joyful and meaningful life.

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